21 August – no edition published (revising on the hoof)

We continue to monitor the C-number, being the weekly rate of contributions for publication. As previously reported, the C-number has been at a level that will not sustain the digital editions of the Village News.

We have been maintaining suitable distance between editions. As our two regular readers will know, last week’s edition was the penultimate digital edition, and next week we are going all out for the ultimate digital Village News experience with our final one.

We would be the last to admit that we have not covered ourselves in glory. Development of the first Village News App was halted when it became apparent that it was not working on everyone’s devices, and our Rest and Race initiative did not automatically notify us of additional contacts that might contribute to the Village News. We have therefore succumbed and partnered with of some the largest global media giants to develop a new version of the app which is still a trial. And our tribulations continue…

The Village News launched its first digital edition on 3 April. Before doing so, the editors each made an objective professional assessment of its prospects with readers whose interests cover a range of subjects. These were submitted to the close and detailed examination of the Algae-rhythm.

The Algae-rhythm is something that occurs in a quagmire as single braincell organisms shuffle about wondering what to do about assessments. What they needed was a Reliable System, a Robust System, a Really Fair System.

Eventually all the Algae in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and England were shuffling and swaying in the same direction, and the Algae-Rhythm was developing.

Then they had a Big Idea. They decided to rely on Big Data and a Big Computer using a Big Program to make a Big Decision that would affect a Big Number Of Lives.

The answer, as all hitch-hikers will know if they consult their galactic guide, was always going to be 42. And so it came to pass: that was the percentage of assessments that were downgraded by the Algae-rhythm.

But then, rather late in the day, they suddenly remembered that all exams require Revision. Unfortunately, having only one brain cell, the Algae did not understand that revision is best done well in advance of any examination and they left it too late for cramming everyone into university. So the Big Decision was subjected to a Big U-turn so the assessments that were made by the editors, who actually had more than one brain cell, were allowed to stand.

This was portrayed as the Right Thing To Do. It was a Responsible Decision and it gave our readers a Fair Outcome and Certainty Going Forward in to their futures. Did anyone mention our readers’ Bad Dreams, Nightmares, Dashed Hopes, Sleepless Nights, or Distress?

Back in the real world, away from that incredible parallel universe that defies belief, the future will bring our readers one more digital edition. There will be no editions in September while the editors put together a printed edition ready for October.